Sunday, May 31, 2020

?? Funniest Resume Skills Actually Seen On Real Resumes

?? Funniest Resume Skills Actually Seen On Real Resumes 41 Most job seekers mean well when it comes to listing skills on their resumes. All too often it's recruiters and us other readers who get the most benefit. Photo by Hayden Dunsel Everyone's seen those hilarious resume blunders coming from a single letter being out of place, typos that lead to “great pubic speaker”, “party-time assistant”, etc. This list isn't about those. This list is for the resume skills that job seekers are proud of enough to put on their resumes, and funny enough to leave you shaking your head or laughing out loud. You be the judge. Enjoy!eval Free bonus: The One Resume Resource You’ll Ever Need is a handy reference to make your resume get you more job interviews. Download it free now Funny resume skills you're glad other people have eval Via Quora: 9/10 correct predictions for the Academy awards in 2010, 11/11 accurate predictions in 2011 and 12/13 correct in 2012 MS Office (only) Googling Can solve a Rubik's Cube in under a minute Can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds Special quality: can impress any girl with in 5 minutes One applicant listed what their favorite sections of the local paper are. The sections weren't relevant to the job, and the paper's really not very good. Adept in the fine art of pretzel folding Cleaning up the dead bodies (from someone who had worked at an assisted living center for senior citizens) Can recite Pi up to 500 digits Skipped 111 times in a minute to consolidate the 2nd position in theLimca Book of Records Always uses just the right amount of salt, no matter the shaker Cocking pastas Playing card games Hangging with my friends and family Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer Experienced with numerous office machines and can make great lattes Can charm anyone, even a pigeon Solving puzzles Exceptional poker player Participated in Fusion dance number Best Smile Award in Grade 8 Ghost in high school horror house Via Reddit: I work well with piers (guy was an exhibit builder) Proficient at Facebook, Twitter, and email Agility training with my dog Can cook minute rice in 58 seconds Able to say the ABCs backwards in under 5 seconds I'm a big dude so I can handle myself in a fight Experienced drinker partier, so I'm comfortable working in environments with drunk people Can hold five baseballs in one hand (“When the staff was all drunk one day someone called him and told the poor guy that if he could handle six balls in one hand, the job was his”) Surviving From 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever: Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c” Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to Detail Can function without additional oxygen at 24,000 feet I can type without looking at thekeyboard I am a Notary Republic I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home I have technical skills that will take your breath away Written communication = 3 years; verbal communication = 5 years I've got a Ph.D. in human feelings Being bilingual in 3 languages From 150 More Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever: Gator hunting Calculator on sight Sarcasm Can make perfect velociraptor call Riding a bicycle In a computer skills section: Tiger Woods Golf Skills: “Yeah I got ’em” Main skills: creativity, bravery, arrogance, cleverness and honesty Walking â€" I am very good at this Funny resume skills from other sources: I rarely get sick Advanced Yo-Yo So many spreadsheets Understood (the movie) Interstellar Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details Quick at typing, about 30 words per minute, 45 with strong coffee Gossiping Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep Extensive experience with foreign accents Free bonus: How To Find Great Freelance Designers Anywhere is a quick read of case studies and takeaways from people who have done it, with resources to help. Download it free now Question of the article Which of the funny resume skills above made you laugh hardest? What's the funniest thing you've seen on a resume (yours or someone else's)? Tell us in the comments. What others are saying 7 of the Most Outrageous (and Clever) Lines Applicants Have Included in Their Resumes What are the strangest/funniest resume bullets or qualifications you have seen? No skills, looking for a job: Teen's funny resume This successful SA exec got his big break with a funny CV â€" here's how you can make yours stand out Humor can help your resume stand out â€" a recruiter explains the right way to use it Bonus: Phoebe and Joey talk about his funny resume skills READ NEXT: 21 Funny Resume Stories

Thursday, May 28, 2020

Resume Writing Services - How to Find Them

Resume Writing Services - How to Find ThemEvery company today is looking for the best resume writing services in Chicago and Dubai. The process of marketing an advertisement is never easy. As you know, you have to make sure that every paper you print will be able to pass the most demanding market tests.If you want to find a solution for the problems that you face in your business promotion and job interview preparation, you must work with the best resume writing services in Chicago and Dubai. There are companies that can help you plan your strategy of marketing and they can do this quite cheaply too!Before investing in the services of these professionals, you must ask yourself why do you need to spend your money. If you really think that it's all worth it then you might as well spend more. Remember that you won't get any benefits for free. Thus, you must go with the process that you are comfortable with.The work of the company should be able to help you realize your career dreams by letting you define your future goals. You must start with the basics and continue to learn new skills as your current ones become obsolete. You must learn how to work in such a way that it will bring positive results.Marketing should be structured so that the employees learn new techniques are made available to the rest of the staff. Each employee should be able to reach his or her maximum potential. They should be able to improve the productivity of the team members. The reason why you hire them to begin with is because you need them to be better than they were.They must be provided with excellent customer care service. In addition, the resume writing companies should provide you with the best education for their staff and they should be able to help you with your written skills. Their training sessions should also be customized for your needs.For the best resume writing services in Chicago and Dubai, the company must be able to provide you with the latest tools and techniques of m arketing. It must be able to organize your future and it must be able to help you achieve success.With the help of these tools, you will be able to create the personalization process for your project. You can rely on the resume writing company only if you are sure that they have the best tools to help you.

Sunday, May 24, 2020

Event Coordinator Cover Letter Sample - Algrim.co

Event Coordinator Cover Letter Sample - Algrim.co Event Coordinator Cover Letter Template Download our cover letter template in Word format. Instant download. No email required. Download Template Related Hiring Resources Event Coordinator Job Description Sample Event Coordinator Resume Example

Thursday, May 21, 2020

MCG MUST READ Confessions of a Flight Attendant

MCG MUST READ Confessions of a Flight Attendant When I was younger, one of the career paths that I wanted to take was to be a flight attendant. A chance to get paid for travelling the world?  YES PLEASE! I actually managed to get accepted into two  major international airlines. While in the process of applying for them, I talked to a lot of experienced flight attendants who have told me the same idea   Just as every other job, this career has ups and downs. It looks really fabulous, but its a lot of hard work. From crazy schedules, to crazy homesickness, to crazy passengers their stories made me realize that the challenge of being a flight attendant really goes beyond what we witness aboard a plane. Talking to them gave me a much bigger respect for what they do, and made me really think hard about whether this career is for me. My respect for flight attendants grew even more when I read this  Career Confession  that I found from cheapflights.com.au In this article, they interviewed  Betty in the Sky,  a flight attendant who reveals exactly what goes on behind the aisle curtain. Her podcast, Betty in the Sky with a Suitcase, offers a quirky view of life at 35,000 feet. With their permission, I am reposting their article here for any career girl who is looking into being a flight attendant in the future. Also, I hope it serves  as both a warning and reminder to our  travel-loving readers to act accordingly and to give the flight attendant a sincere thank you on their  future  flights. I know I will! CONFESSIONS OF A FLIGHT ATTENDANT Interview by Kara Segedin  of cheapflights.com.au We asked Betty to let us in on a few  of her more extreme inflight experiences… What’s That Smell? “About 20  minutes before landing a woman rang her bell: ‘My stomach is really upset, so can you not release that smell you put out on landing? I don’t think my stomach can handle it.” What? What scent do we release on landing? We don’t have some sort of air freshener fog that rolls through the airplane before landing. Where do people get these crazy notions?” When Betty shared this story on her podcast  she was  surprised to  discover the the woman wasn’t the only one convinced airlines like to use a little bit of inflight aromatherapy. “Many people insisted that some airlines do indeed release a scent on landing. One listener thought it was the scent from the hot towels, another suggested it was people spraying perfume and hairspray in the bathroom as they freshened up for landing. But my very favourite email said “maybe she just took the pilots landing PA literally: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to begin our DE-SCENT into New York’!” No â€" pilots do not release a scent through the cabin on landing! Unconventional  Travellers “As we were boarding the airplane a woman was seated in 31G so I told her to cross over (through the galley to the far aisle). She crossed over all right    onto the catering truck! “The passenger who talks into the speaker overhead ordering a drink like it’s the McDonald’s drive through. “‘Where are the lines between the states?’   You would be surprised how many people think there are actual lines between the states, like on a map. “On the customs and immigration form it says ‘Sex M â€" F’. Passengers will ask if it means how many times they have sex, Monday to Friday! “A middle-aged woman rang her bell on a red eye [an overnight flight] and said ‘I called ahead to tell the airline I need to sleep on this flight. What sort of sleeping pills can you offer me?’” “A woman asked ‘That blasted noise is driving me crazy.  I demand that you make it stop!’. I nicely responded, ‘I think you are referring to the engines â€" and we better all pray that they don’t stop’.” ‘Sex M â€" F’ doesn’t mean how many times you have sex, Monday to Friday! A First Class Passenger is a Happy Passenger “I think first class people are happier simply because they are more comfortable.  First class folks are eating good food and drinking nice wines in a big comfortable chair    of course they are in a better mood. I see the same effect on the (ever more rare) flight that is not full. If you are on a flight that is only half full and the economy passengers have more room and are more comfortable they are happier and nicer to us. It’s like magic!” Strangest Requests “Diapers. You have a baby but forget to bring diapers! “Deodorant; on certain international flights, I truly wish we had deodorant to give to passengers. “A passenger actually said, ‘Do you have a pen?  I need to clean my ears’. “Tweezers. I just had to ask, ‘What do you need tweezers for,’ as I assumed they had a splinter or something. The response I got really surprised me.  â€˜I fell into a plant before getting on the airplane and need to get the thorns out of my butt.’   I actually had my own personal tweezers in my bag that I might have offered for a splinter, but definitely not for thorn in the butt removal. “A screwdriver. I obviously don’t have a screwdriver, but I just had to ask. ‘What do you need a screwdriver for?’ He replied: ‘To take the seat apart’.   ‘Um…. that’s not going to happen!’ “A cup and lid, a straw and a knife. I need to make a catheter.” “Do you have a pen? I need to clean my ears”. Soap “Passengers (especially women) often complain about their feet cramping up while flying. It may be an old wives’ tale, but apparently, rubbing a bar of soap on your feet can alleviate cramping. So I now take the complimentary little bars of soap from hotels. I know it’s silly and sappy, but I love to ‘cure’ a small problem for a passenger. It’s like the Jimmy Durante song that says, ‘Make someone happy/ Make just one someone happy/ And you will be happy too!’.” Bathroom Behaviour “You might expect  the words spoken most often by a flight attendant would be ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’, ‘thank you’ or even ‘I’m sorry’, but it’s actually ‘push!’ “It’s amazing how many people can’t figure out how to get into the bathroom. The lavatory door says push but the ashtray is just too inviting, so most people reach for that and are surprised when nothing happens. It’s like bathroom rocket science! “They ask ‘Can I use the bathroom on the ground?’ I believe this hearkens back to trains where the waste just fell out onto the tracks. Can you imagine if we just dumped human waste all across the country?” Push people. The lavatory door says push. Listen Up “Passengers are now all sporting giant noise-cancelling headphones   flight attendants should probably be taught sign language. We constantly have to wave our hands about or reach over two people to nudge them.  But what’s most annoying is that after we finally get their attention and say ‘something to drink?’, they inevitably say ‘what?’ I mean, we have a three-hundred pound beverage cart in front of us, and we always ask the same thing, but you have to say it three or four times. Don’t get me started on ‘do you want cream and sugar’!” Passengers:  please remove your headphones! Betty’s Top Tips for a Pleasant Flight 1. Book the first flight of the day. Yes, you have to wake up really early, but the morning flights have a huge advantage because the airplane is already there. You don’t have to worry about delays or weather in some other city where your plane is flying in from. 2.  You might be asked to take off their shoes in the airport security line  so you may want to think of how many people are traipsing through the metal detector barefoot â€" and what you may catch in the process. I suggest wearing socks! 3. It’s a good idea to have a printed copy of your driver’s licence and passport inside your suitcase in case your carry-on is lost or stolen. And, for the ultra-scary event where your suitcase and carry-on is lost, I scan my ID, passport, and travellers cheques  and email  copies  to myself. This way, you can go to any computer and print a copy of your documents. Read more of Betty’s revelations on her blog, bettyinthesky.net. You can alsosubscribe to her free podcast in iTunes now.

Sunday, May 17, 2020

Federal Resume Opm Eventbrite May Is Available For Your Use in the Event of Federal Job Position

Federal Resume Opm Eventbrite May Is Available For Your Use in the Event of Federal Job PositionIn the event of the federal job position, obtaining an online resume helps you in your future. You are provided with an opportunity to show your qualifications while sitting at your own home. The federal resume opm eventbrite may be available in the upcoming month of August.With the passage of time, you find it difficult to get appointed in the federal job due to the many new laws and regulations that have been implemented for the benefit of the American citizens. If you want to find out the latest news on this subject, please continue reading.If you want to become a federal employee, a resume may be required as a part of the procedure to be considered for the federal job. While applying for the federal job positions, using the federal resume opm eventbrite may be a good idea as it does not require a lot of effort. Just simply fill out the federal resume opm eventbrite form.Online writing federal resume may be provided by the official website of the government which does not require you to download anything and print it. You can complete the Federal resume opm eventbrite form yourself, without wasting your precious time. The US government gives each federal employee the opportunity to apply for federal jobs and as a part of the process, you will be asked to submit the federal resume opm eventbrite form.If you want to obtain the job for which you have applied, you should submit your online writing federal resume opm eventbrite form, along with the cover letter. It is important to remember that if you apply for the federal job positions, it is very important that you should try to display your qualifications and skills as much as possible, in order to be given the job.If you are employed, the government often provides bonuses depending on the performance of the applicant during the federal job position. So, if you provide with the best service in the federal resume opm eventbrite form, then you can get a nice bonus. If you provide with your application without trying to show your qualifications, then you may not get the job.There are many resources available online that will help you in answering the question 'how to become a federal employee', and will provide you with all the details about the federal government. These sources will provide you with valuable information about the federal government and how you can become a federal employee.You can use these resources in order to apply for the federal job, fill out the federal resume opm eventbrite form and submit it for consideration of the job you wish to be appointed. It is a good idea to search for these resources and learn about the federal job market, as it will give you the best opportunity to succeed in the long run.

Thursday, May 14, 2020

How Can You Land an Amazing Job with Limited Experience CareerMetis.com

How Can You Land an Amazing Job with Limited Experienceâ€" CareerMetis.com Are you tired of newspapers job sections posting jobs only for candidates with significant and demonstrable experience?Know you have what it takes to be placed at a decent position in the organization, but the limited experience is coming in the way?Fret not!evalWe have got you covered!Experience is mostly trouble with the out of college graduates who are frustrated with being on the reject list of the organizations. They are always facing the common dilemma, “Where do pass out graduates get experience from?”Today we are going to help you with some strategies that will help you land a fantastic job with a competitive package, regardless of your limited working experience:1) Build Your ConfidenceevalFirst things first, you need to boost your confidence and divert your mind from your lack of experience. Instead of focusing on the things that you don’t have, it would be fruitful if you work on your skills that are relevant to the job and articulate how you are going to present the m to the interview board.Your confidence despite the lack of experience should convince the interview members that you would significantly contribute to the organization’s goals and objectives.2) Be CreativeIt is crucial that you can articulate the link which will help the interviewer screen you in despite the lagging experience. Structure how you are going to explain your skills with confidence so that the interviewer does not confront you with the experience factor.3) Stay AbreastYou might not have the right experience for the job, but keeping yourself abreast with the latest development in the field of interest will convince your interviewer about your sincerity towards the job4) Highlight Your Soft SkillsevalHow do you stand out from the crowd? Your soft skills proficiency will help you forge ahead in the interview. Yes, technical skills help you attain the job, but it is the proper combination of technical as well as soft skills that help you progress in an organization.Since soft skills such as professionalism, team motivator, amicability cannot be taught, highlighting them would help bring a more positive light to your resume.Take note of the non-obvious experiences and highlight them.eval5) Network AdequatelyIn the times when most of the networking feels fake and forced, it is essential that your approach to networking is sincere and authentic. In job fair, where recruitment agencies, offshore recruiters are on a look-out for talented candidates, reach out to people in who might be minutely linked with your field of interest and let them know you’re on a lookout for a job.evalReal networking goes a long way in escalating your career graph. Go to a job fair and connect with professionals, executives and display honesty and utmost sincerity. Do not forget to send out a follow-up post event as this will show your interest.6) Don’t fear the realityAcknowledging something helps in dealing with it with a clear head. You might face loads of rejection at first, but that should not discourage you from going ahead. Know how can you improve be it your resume to how you perform at the interview.Analyze and work on it. Rejections should help you to present yourself better.7) Start with InternshipsApplying and working as an intern(paid/unpaid) will help you give your career a good star in the direction you want to steer it to. Apply for the field you are interested in or the skills that your future employees are looking for.After gaining significant experience as an intern, you can apply to the position when you can demonstrate the skills and knowledge you have acquired in the course of your internship.There is a cut-throat competition to secure a decent job in an organization. In the crowd of talented graduates passing out every year and reputable positions being held by highly skilled and multifaceted candidates, those lacking in experience need to pull up their socks and have to make extra efforts to be able to find a job in an organi zation.

Saturday, May 9, 2020

6 Keys to Finding Your New Job Faster - Sterling Career Concepts

6 Keys to Finding Your New Job Faster 6 Keys to Finding Your New Job Faster Most people don’t enjoy being in ‘job search mode.’ The added stress and element of the unknown complicates an already busy life. Remember, you only need one company to hire you. Instead of focusing your efforts on making dozens or hundreds of contacts with prospective employers, be selective and targeted. With that in mind, here are six keys to help you find your new job faster: 1. Create a schedule each day for your job search activities. Make a list each day of the activities you want to complete. However, if an interview or networking opportunity comes up, of course you will rearrange your schedule to fit it in! 2. Devote sufficient time to your job search. The more time and energy you devote to your job search, and the more aggressively you network, the faster your job search will proceed. If you are not currently working, commit yourself to a minimum of 40 hours per week devoted to your search campaign. If you are currently working, devote 15-20 hours per week at a minimum. 3. Get the support of a team to help you. You don’t have to go it alone in your job search. Ask your family and friends to support you. Join a job club. Use the services offered by your city, county, or state employment office. Contact your university alumni association. Hire a résumé writer and/or career coach. 4. Enlist an accountability partner. Recruit one person to support, encourage, and motivate you in your job search. This can be a friend, another job seeker, or a coach/counselor. (Choose someone who can be objective with you â€" and critical of your efforts â€" when they need to be. That role might be too difficult for a spouse/partner.) 5. It can be easier to get a job if you have a job (even if the job isn’t related to the job you want). Employers sometimes see hiring someone who is unemployed as “riskier” than hiring someone who is already working. 6. Consider relocation if you are having difficulty finding a job in your area. If you live in an area with high unemployment â€" especially in your industry â€" consider whether moving to another city, state, or region would improve your chances of getting hired. If you’d like assistance with any of the above, contact me to schedule job search coaching. Let’s do this!

Friday, May 8, 2020

Addressing Ageism in Your Job Search -

Addressing Ageism in Your Job Search - I spend as much time as possible online, reading blogs and keeping a finger on the pulse of what I call the career space. Lately, on LinkedIn, the Answers in the resume section is populated with questions pertaining to ageism in the job hunt. If Father Time is catching up with you, read on for some tips to consider for your job hunt This week, a question on LinkedIn reads: A friend just confessed she is facing age discrimination when looking for a new job. She is very experienced, very professional, keeps in great shape and looks around 40 years old. But shes in her early 50s and since the CV precedes the interview, that is what a recruiter or HR person sees even before meeting her: HER AGE. And that is enough to get her CV rejected. My answer: Yes, there is ageism. No question about it.More experience typically equals more pay, and if a company can get by with a less mature, less seasoned professional, why not? However, the fact is, your friend cannot know for sure that age is what is preventing her from landing an interviewIn my experience, the resume itself is often half of the problem, not the years of experience. If I were to advise your friend, I would also suggest that she first ask a professional to evaluate her resume. If she is sending out the same thing and not getting results, it seems like a good time to take stock. Once the resume is top notch, I would advise that she focus on growing her network. Everyone should know that 80% of jobs are found via networking, and not all of those networking connections are close connections. Web 2.0 offers so many opportunities to grow a network and to demonstrate expertiseJob seekers should take advantage of them to stand out in a crowd! While resumes need only demonstrate the last 10 or so years of work, taking years off of degrees is a bad idea. Face it if there isnt a year, wont everyone reading it just assume your friend is older than her years? Lets assume that ageism, not a poor resume combined with ineffective job search strategies, is the problem. Ive written about how to use your digital footprint to make yourself look younger. There is a link in the blog to a NYT article which has a great clip from the Today Show. You may be surprised at the control that you really have when you drive your own career bus! If you want to receive free up-to-date tips to help with your job hunt, Click here to subscribe to receive future blogs sent directly to you via email! Prefer to subscribe in a reader? Click here for a link to receive Keppie Careers feed sent to the reader of your choice. Need help with your hunt? We can help you get your job hunt in gear! Visit Keppie Careers online for information about our services: www.keppiecareers.com. photo by aloofdork